UPLift the Mind... UPLift the Soul...Use the Light Within to See Past the Illusions. Using art to provoke thought, Urban Poetry is about, finding beauty in the grim; art that is unexpected and the artistry of urban imagination.

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Sunday, June 8, 2014

The Resurrection of Me

Black sun, red moon
The spring brings no new blooms
The destructive dragon of my mind sent the rains running
Drought  has left this land desolate and overtaken by famine
Thirsting for waters to revitalize and fertilize
Resurrecting once again the grounds of my spirit
To bring forth the fruits of my hearts passion.
   ---Temidara

One of my biggest challenges is dealing with acceptance...especially that of my family and close peers. I remember my mother reminding me never to shrink around people, in fear of what they may say, with my seemingly quirky, weird ways... or think I was inadequate because the lack of monetary resources. She often noticed how I'd  hide my gifts and talents, too concerned about what someone else would think,  so much so that one day when I was a sophomore in high school she gave this poem.
She asked me to memorize it; know it by heart. Wanting me to understand that the complexion of my skin, texture of my hair, gender, social status nor my individualistic and abstract manor, should ever detour me from my aspirations... for she too had struggled with this same level of thinking.

Then in 1997, my junior year of high school, I went on a spiritual retreat to Barbados for young women. All the girls were given new names as a rights of passage and mine was, "Temidara", meaning: Everything about me is good...huuumm how fitting.

I'm still learning to embrace the meaning behind the name more and more each day, as I renew the passions of my heart by truly loving me and what I do. Not egotistically, yet humbly, with confidence in my abilities and a love for the unique qualities that make me, me.

Crazy, almost 10 years has pasted with me on pause, with myself being the cause. From one event to the next, my mind was clearly taken off path and I no longer was fully pursuing my dreams. Things weren't going exactly as planed and the negative feedback from a few was playing, consistently on rewind in my head.  Now, I know you're suppose to use your hatters as your motivators, but I was allowing them to be the cause of my downward spiral. Although, from time to time I heard the words of encouragements..."You are Talented", "You have a Gift", it all fell on deaf ears and I cave to the words of the minority, allowing it to break my spirits. They say, sticks and stones may break my bones but the words you say will never hurt me...well, the words did hurt.

But, layer by layer I remove the irrational thoughts, to no longer live in the shadows of doubt but in full view, without hesitation, having faith and believing in what I do. No more paying attention to the "he-say, she-say"--"nay sayers" nor "waiting for perfect weather" ..I have to make moves even in cloudy conditions. Thus, I'm moving forward, each day closer to recovery, from a mindset that holds one back... no more blaming others for my circumstance. Doing it not only for me but to also be an example for my daughter. So I hear the words of a friend remind me, " You Are Your Greatest God Given Resource".
... and that of another say, "Don't Be Scared of presenting the true you or what you have to offer...believe and pull yourself UP".

So from the ashes I will rise...the element that is Urban Poetry....I will, "UPLift the mind ...UPLift the Soul...Use the Light Within to See Past the Illusions  

Beginning again to have confidence
In the grace and elegance
The beauty and simplicity
Of being free
Things thought to be merely memories
Are now dreams resurrected
The remembrance was inevitable
Entrancing fashioning that is timeless
I've been drawn back to the original ..The Realness
Of  the true me and that only
To exhibit my unique qualities
Displaying the illuminating splendor of the divine artistry
That is... Urban Poetry.
        ----"Temidara"


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